The “B”Word

   I have noticed a  trend among young women of calling each other bitch. They say “These are my bitches” or “what a bitch I  was when that picture was taken” or “Hey, bitches, what ya think about my new profile.” This may seem innocuous, just urban vernacular, but I believe it is harmful, detrimental even, to the healthy identity of young women.

   Young women calling each other bitches is akin to blacks calling each other nigger. Nigger entered our vocabulary to degrade and demean. When blacks began using the “N” word amongst themselves, many claimed they were taking control of these demeaning terms and by using the word nigger and “owning”  it they were diluting its power against them. Bitch was introduced for the same reason-to demean and degrade. Perhaps young women think that calling each other bitch is okay, as long as they are the ones saying it to each other.

The “F” Word

   Whether using the “N” word or the “B” word, you could substitute it with the word friend. If you are a young black man and you are hanging with your friends and calling each other nigger all of the time, you can bet this emboldens people who are not your friends to call you that. The more they hear it, the more in use it is, the more likely they are to use it. And if you are a young woman and you are hanging with your friends and calling each other bitch and ho and any other derogatory term you can bet all of the guys and all of the women who are not your friends are certainly going to call you a bitch and a ho.

You Are Beautiful Young Women

   You are not a bitch or a ho or any of the horrible words created to cause pain and no matter whether people use them against you or you use them amongst yourselves they still cause harm. Every time you want to call yourself or your friends a bitch, try substituting the word friend instead. Say the “F” word loud and say it proud. Don’t say, “These are my bitches,” say “These are my friends.” Don’t say, “Ahh. She knows she’s my friend. I don’t have to tell her. She knows when I call her bitch, I’m just being cool like everyone else.” Don’t be afraid to tell her she is your friend. There will be plenty of times in her life when she will be called a bitch. Don’t let those times be you calling her that. And ditto for yourself. Show respect for yourself and your friends. You might be surprised how it makes other people treat you.  You and your friends are beautiful young women, not bitches.